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playstation and burberry
Driver type:Hyper, young, lout
Mentality:Playstation generation
Vehicle:Nova, Escort, Civic
I-spy guide:Weaving like on ecstasy, Burberry clad

"Welcome to the digital world of driving. Here, there are no graduations in steering or braking, it's just on or off. We call this Playstation driving."

You know who I mean: Mr Annoying, Mrs Ants-in-her-pants, Mr Had-too-much-sugar, and so on and so forth. As he or she erratically careers down the motorway they switch lanes within a single cats-eye gap, they brake suddenly and accelerate (except for most Saxos) just as fast.

Entering and exiting the motorway is left to the last minute, the indicators are too hard to reach during such a manoeuvre, precious seconds could be lost. On entering the motorway it is vital to switch to the outer lane in less than 15 metres to obtain extra bonus kudos.

Sweets, do not feed

Never feed sweets (for the hard of sight, I have given a large example just to the right) to these Playstation types. Or fizzy drinks for that matter. Anything with sugar is bad, just let them carry on their way so they're the hell out of yours.

The majority of this class of driver actually think that they are in a Playstation game, pushing the car beyond all limits of adhesion when switching lanes. Never indicating more than one flash, relentlessly pursuing the next checkpoint. If undertaking seems the best option, they let it be, they have no fear. If it's foggy and visibility is down to a few metres it's seen as a bigger challenge to push each of the 8 valves even further.

The distant clatter of tappets and thump of 160bpm music is the only warning of their approach. Treat them like a tiger - don't look them in the eye or make any sudden movements, your life depends upon it.

A pint

Did you spill my pint?